The 12 Customers Every Restaurant Employee Would Like To Strangle

5. The Sneaky Substituter 


A restaurant is a business. Businesses need to make money. They do that by charging you slightly more for your food than what they paid to put it on the table. Everyone who works there knows this.

So, what makes you think you’re being sneaky when you try to weasel your way into a free upgrade?

It’s one thing if you want to swap tomatoes for cucumbers. But when you ask to swap tomatoes for a 10 oz. cut of Prime Rib? Absolutely not.


6. The Family with Small Children


There’s no law against bringing your kids to a restaurant. But some parents make you wonder if there should be.

The restaurant is not a playground, and the waitstaff is not there to clean up after you. If your kid spills their baby food or cheerios all over the floor, don’t just leave it for the server to deal with.  

And if Jr. gets stabbed in a freak steak knife accident because he was running around and darting under tables, you’re the one who deserves to get sued.

Written by Mary McCaw

Mary is a freelance writer and editor. She's based in San Francisco, but lately, home is wherever her suitcase is. If you really are what you eat, she is at least 50% pizza.