Posted on: Jul 17 2017

The 19 Smoothest Ways To Pickup Someone At A Bar

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Image via Giphy
Image via Giphy

Picture this: you’re at a bar and you see a dime piece you’d love to hump awl night long. What do you do? How do you guarantee that you’ll be taking that sexy mofo home with you?

It’s hard to lock down someone, especially if you’re lacking in the game department. Your moves consist of relying on alcohol, awkwardly standing there, and stuttering like an idiot. You’ve tried out cliche pick up lines before, and you know they usually end with someone laughing in your face. Seriously, even Harry Potter pick up lines don’t work, trust me, I’ve tried.

SO, what do you do? Well, you learn smooth talking from these 19 people. They all walked away from the bar with some booty, and it’s all thanks to their suaveness. So try one of their lines, or dope moves, and you’ll spend the rest of your night knee deep in fluids (too gross? sorry).

Here are 19 smooth ways to pick someone up at a bar:


1.

As I was bar-tending I heard one guy say “I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t ask for your number”, and the girl said “sure. Want it now or tomorrow morning?” He looked at me bewildered. I nodded him on. Smooth move girl.

2.

Hot woman drinking water at the bar during a football game. Fast forward to 4th quarter. Sipping water still. Jets vs Patriots game- bar is heated, packed. Crowd is all 21 years old! I see a very good looking, popular young kid leaning a little too far over. Spills beer on said lady. Lady turns slowly to her left- I’m preparing for the worst. Lady says ‘I’m all wet in the wrong places. Lick me dry here, so I’ll be wet here (points to crotch). Sloppy kid licks said woman here at bar. Woman throws $100 down- says to me ‘that should cover it’. Helps stumbling guy into Mercedes.

3.

Sunday was industry night & local bar staff would come hang out, play pool, etc. Girls shows up that I’d seen before but couldn’t place, she was kind & engaging. Midway through the night she asked about playing pool, we’d open the table for staff night, the process required you to crouch down & unlock a side panel to access the balls. While kneeling she walked past me from behind & casually ran one finger from shoulder blade to shoulder blade. I was surprised, but there’s no missing that sign. When I stood up & met her eyes the whole context was set. I’ve never been picked up so well, so confidently & so elegantly before.

4.

I work a pretty nice, tropical mixology bar. One night we had “casual night” so to speak. So instead of my usual button-up shirt i wore sleeveless tank that said “sleeping with the bartender won’t get you free drinks, but it’s worth a shot. ” saw it online and I printed 3 (one for me, two for my fellow bartenders). I did it cus i thought i’d be funny. Well, shit, it worked. Not only did we get a stupidly high amount of tips (like 200 bucks each) but we all went home with a girl that night.
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