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23 Things Dumb People Thought Would Prevent Pregnancy & STDs

17.

I saw a girl in her 20s and her mother once who came because she puked a lot and was bleeding from down there. Turns out she’s pregnant. Right when I announced it, both the mother and the daughter yelled at me: “That’s impossible! We’re both on the pill!”. I then answered: “Well, contraception is never 100%, particularly if you sometimes forget your pill… Did it ever happen? Do you often forget to take the pill every day?”. Then the mother answered me: “No! We never forget! I take it on even days, she takes it on odd days. We never forget.”. And then it took me around 40 minutes to explain how contraception worked.

18.

I dated a girl who told me she was on birth control. I saw the package in her bag and made a joke about the day not being right. I saw it 4 days later and it was on the same day, so I asked and she said it was fine, she found out she can just push it all out right after sex, so she wouldn’t need birth control anymore.

19.

Sister in law is a midwife and nurse practitioner in a city and serves a range of patients in a free clinic. She once had a teenage man really really bummed that he was having a girl because it meant that he and his girlfriend couldn’t have sex…. Wait for it… Because he didn’t want his baby to get pregnant.

20.

During a lecture about contraception in 1st year med school, one of my girlfriend classmates was convinced that a condom had to be on for at least 6 hours prior to intercourse and asked the teacher/doctor about it.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.