8. Rum
Things have a way of happening to you.
Not only is the rum always gone (probably because you drank it), you regularly wake up in strange, faraway places with no recollection of how you got there.
At any given time, at least one person close to you thinks you’re probably dead.
Sooner or later, you’ll go missing permanently, and when you do finally find your way home after a years-long stint on a deserted Caribbean island, the full story will be so wild that no one will ever believe you.