10. Filling up your espresso-and-ice cup with milk from the bar is not “thrifty,” it is stealing.
The milk in those carafes is for customers to add A SPLASH of cream to their coffee, not for you to game the system by adding 16 ounces to your double espresso on ice.
To put it simply, you’re an asshole, and if I thought anyone would take your crime seriously, I’d already be on the phone with a 9-1-1 operator.
11. “Oh sorry, I forgot to ask for vanilla syrup, can you just add it?” No, because it costs extra.
What is it with coffee shop customers and petty theft?
No, I can’t just add soy milk into your drink even though you forgot to order it, because it probably costs somewhere from an extra 75 cents to $1.
Small change for you, but for the coffee shop, it adds up. I might even be asked to cover it out of my own wages.
So if you really need a sub, go back and pay for the additional cost, and then I’ll remake your drink. Otherwise, you’re getting the 2 percent milk you asked for.
12. An ice blended drink is not coffee, it’s a dessert.
Coffee is good for your digestive system, but not when it’s loaded with enough sugar and fat to send a small child into cardiac arrest.
I won’t judge you for ordering a smoothie or a milkshake, as long as you don’t pretend it’s the same thing as a regular ol’ latte. But if I catch you telling others in line that you’re not yourself in the morning “without your coffee,” and then you order dessert in a cup, I will laugh at you behind your back.
Maybe even to your face.
