11. Da da da daa da…he’s lovin’ it. (Also not a direct sex worker story, but you’ll like it, promise.) (via)
I managed a strip club for a while. Believe it or not, things do happen in the VIP room…shocking right. As the manager, I just tried to play super oblivious and dumb to that fact, so if anyone did get in trouble, it was their liability instead of mine. We DID have rules against it and enforced them when people were caught. There were no camera’s and I didnt have enough bouncer’s to stand outside of the 8-9 rooms. So naturally things happened.
One of the dancer’s who I knew got to talking one day about the strangest things they saw in VIP or had to do in VIP, and she said,
“You know XXX that comes in every Monday?”
“Yea the dude that always brings in the Mcdonalds bag?” i replied.
“Yea thats him! You know why he always comes in with that bag?”
At this point I was like, shit we should really be checking those bags, dude probably has a dildo or something like that in it, right?
She said, “No, it actually has a hamburger in it.”
“Oh god,” I thought as my mind raced to try to understand what the burger was for.
She says, “he takes out the hamburger, puts it in a plastic bag, then sets it on the floor in front of him. He then has me get barefooted and step on the bag squishing the hamburger while he pleasures himself. Easiest 300 bucks I make every week.”
To this day I think about that guy on Monday’s. Because somewhere in some club someone is stepping on a hamburger for him.
12. Here’s a short story from a cam girl about a guy who was into some very long books. (via)
One guy told me he’d pay me €100 for me to (fully clothed) wear Harry potter round glasses and use an asparagus (as a wand) to recite spells. At first I though it was BS but went along with it anyway, he paid up….
13. Just because a story is odd and mostly harmless doesn’t mean it’s not really, really human. (via)
I was a cam girl for about six months in college. My weirdest customer wanted me to make him weekly grocery lists, errands lists, and just general “honey do” lists for things he had to do around the house. He was a young guy, maybe 25, and actually really attractive. British. He claimed he was lonely after his fiancée moved to Belgium for a year for school, and now they were on a break. These were all the things she used to ask him to do, and now she was too busy. So every week, I’d have a private show with him, and we’d drink coffee and go over that week’s list, and I’d wish him luck at work that day.
It was kind of sweet, kind of heartbreaking….I got the impression his girlfriend had just left him. He would sometimes talk about when she would come back, but I really doubted she would ever come back.
14. It’s unclear exactly what kind of sex work this woman does, but it’s clear she has a really good sense of humor. (via)
One of my very favorite customers ever would just want me to do things like sit on his lap (with all my clothes on) and pretend to be riding a motorcycle and that he was my passenger. He would want me to tell him a story about riding our motorcycle, like the scenery and what would happen if we broke down and things like that. He always wanted me to make the vroom vroom sounds and lean back and forth like I was going around curves.
And sometimes he wanted to “dance,” but what he meant by that wasn’t me giving him a lap dance, but just for us to sit together and dance really wackily–again, with all my clothes on.
Sometimes he wanted to do regular, less clothed dances, too, but he was always super polite and funny.
I also have a guy who always brings me books and wants to talk to me about literature. He will bring me like 4-5 books at a time and want me to look them over with him. But after we’re done talking he’s also into lots of kinky, domination stuff so he’s not totally innocent, either.
15. Let’s check back in with the dungeon lady from #3. Here are a few of her other favorite stories. (via)
1.
had a very nice gentleman come in wearing one of those dust masks. Wanted me to get up on basis pieces of bondage furniture, naked, and pose/spread. Then he would come right up and put his face about 1 cm from my parts and stare intently for a few minutes, then have me take a different position. Never touched me, even accidentally, over the course of the hour.
2.
had a gentleman who would book multiple girls, have us play completely dead, then whack us with riding crops and pinch nipples and stuff. If you grimaced or flinched our gasped, you were out of the (several hour, lots of money) session.
3.
had a very muscular guy come in who would shower, then once he was clean, would flex and want me to sink my teeth into his muscles and gnaw gently. Was surprisingly fun! These weren’t nips or play bites…he liked me in particular because I have a huge mouth and was able to get his whole rather massive bicep in my mouth, then gnaw with my back molars. I’ve bitten lovers before, but never like that.
