Moving in with your significant other is a big step in any relationship. We look forward to all the sweet and adorable things we’ll now get to do because we’re sharing a space to come home to every single day. And, while there are super cute things we can do now–like cook dinner together and have late-night movie marathons until 3 A.M.–there are some downfalls of moving in with your SO. Like, hearing them snore endlessly all damn f**king night.
Take it from me–I was so excited to move in with my boyfriend when we were looking for apartments. Sure, we’d had tons of nights together before, but the majority of the time I was at my own place, with the exception of weekends and some weeknights once in a while. Once we moved in together, I never realized how loud, powerful, and obnoxious his snoring was. And, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully sleep again (we’ve been living together for over a year, still can’t sleep through the night).
15. When you realize they’re falling asleep, you brace yourself for the storm that is brewing.
Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep, so loudly, that it stops other people from sleeping.
It’s like lying there screaming “I’M HAVING A LOVELY SLEEP”
— Chris Ramsey (@IAmChrisRamsey) August 29, 2018
14. You sometimes try and force yourself to fall asleep first, so you won’t have to try and fall asleep with an aggravated baby panda sleeping next to you.
13. You’ve come up with several moves to use when your partner starts snoring.
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When three heads are are better than one. To breathe, or not to breathe, that is the question. Wether it better to be anoxic… #cpap #sleep #mask #head #apnea #sleepapnea #sleepdisorder #RLS #restlesslegs #narcolepsy #breath #rem #shakespeare #snore #snoring #sleeplessinchicago
12. Like, the subtle nudge to wake them, but not fully wake them, but just enough for them to adjust and stop snoring.
11. You get a few minutes of silence and think: ‘wow, this is absolutely amazing to have silence.’
10. But, before you know it, thunder approaches.
*my dog whimpers in her sleep* omg so cute
*husband breathes in his sleep* SHUT THE FUCK UP
— Vote Them Out (@dulcetry) June 24, 2015
9. You get annoyed when it gets too loud, so you scream: ‘SHUT THE F**K UP’ and wake the person up out of a dead sleep.
8. You’ve pulled the “fake sleeping/adjusting to pretend to accidentally hit them so they get the damn hint.”
7. You’ve tried investing in earplugs to sleep through an entire night, but they’re uncomfortable and annoying.
Stages: Coping w Snorer
2 Say "You're Snoring"
3 Roll them
5 Stab w pen
6 Scream TAKE THIS CUP O SUFFERING AWAY FROM ME
— Seasonal Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) May 26, 2016
6. And, when you’re trying to watch TV, you need to throw the subtitles on because you literally cannot hear over the animal brewing next to you.
5. When you tell your partner they snore, you’re dumbfounded by their response of “WHAT? I DON’T SNORE AT ALL!!!”
My wife got a Fitbit for the sole purpose of proving how many times I wake her up in the middle of the night by snoring.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 20, 2016
4. You’ve considered sleeping on the couch just so you can get some peace and quiet.
3. You have “gag gifted” snoring aids and nose strips as a *hint hint* for them.
2. You late-night Google how to stop people from snoring without smothering them with a pillow.
*watching husband sleep*
Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"
Me: "I can't live like this."
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 28, 2016