Most women have had enough frightening experiences with men to know that staying aware and vigilant is the key to survival and safety.
But being aware of such a situation—even while in a crowded, public area—does not always make it easier to escape. Sometimes we need a little help. And sometimes, total strangers recognize that.
That’s what happened to u/strawberry_luv, who recently shared her story to the r/TwoXChromosomes subreddit. Titled “Thank you to the guy on subway who could read my body language,” the experience is both terrifying and hopeful; a glimpse into the terror women experience on a daily basis, and another into the good still present in the world.
The story starts with an everyday situation that escalates fast.
I got on the 1 train here, and a man got on after me. (this happens everywhere) I had my keys between my hands but barely noticeable because this guy has been standing behind me the whole 6 minutes i waited for the train. (calling me baby etc,) I sat down and he sat over me holding the bar. and I felt so anxious like throwing up so I stood up near a bunch of other people holding the rail.
A total stranger sees OP’s discomfort, and decides to step in by pretending he recognized her and that they were heading to the same place.
Then this guy says to me “hey lauren. you going to jeffs dinner party too?” i was confused for a sec because he was staring at me and my name isn’t lauren. it took me like 10 seconds to even realize what he was doing. i said yeah. and he said ‘perfect timing we can walk together. what stop were you going to get off on” and I told him.
The stranger took his kindness and concern one step further, and then another.
then he says look what jeff texted me and handed me the notes app which had ‘are you ok?’ and he kind of moved to side so i could write in it. I told him this guy was following me. He ended up getting off my stop with me and walked me all the way to my friends apartment. When he was suppose to get off at 103. The guy soon left mostly because this guy was way bigger than him thankfully.
Like many other women in her situation, OP froze up. She voiced her gratefulness to the man who helped her, who she calls Michael.
I have never been in a spot like that and I always told myself what I’d do in a situation like that but I just froze and shut down. I am so thankful men like him are out there and aware of situations like that. In New York most people really keep to themselves so thank you very much Michael. wherever you are. i am sorry i made you late. but you were like my guardian angel
The story resonated with other women, who shared their experiences in the comments:
Sometimes, even eye contact from a guy with a concerned/questioning expression on his face will make me feel like somebody has my back in that kind of situation. Him taking the extra step with you was an awesome thing to read.
Definitely. I had an older man approach me late at night, getting in my space and asking for money. He wouldn’t leave me alone. A young guy walking by made eye contact with me and stopped. He just stood nearby waiting until the creepy dude finally left. Then he made eye contact again, nodded and continued on his way.
I went from “oh shit” to “ok, someone has my back”. I think he handled that situation perfectly and it made me so happy knowing there are decent people who will take the time to make sure a stranger is okay. I was just sorry I never got to thank him.
You will probably never read this, random dude, but thank you!
Something like this just happened to me. I was standing at the bus stop and a clearly troubled guy with a cane came up and stood beside me, he seemed very angry. I’m pregnant so I noped right out of there and went and stood away from him.
He comes screaming after me and pointing his cane at me and banging it on the nearby trash can. All the while he’s yelling that I ruin his day everyday. I was scared but trying to remain calm and asked him to stop several times. Then suddenly this guy appears beside me and just looks at me and says “you ok?”
The screaming guy saw him and walked away. That guy stood calmly beside me until my bus came and when I left he said “I hope your day gets better.” I was and am so thankful for him.
In Argentina, women have started organizing a network of women that are available to help women in these situations. We identify each other by wearing a purple ribbon on our wrist. It’s really spread out to many other countries and is making women feel more empowered in the streets.
I was on a crowded subway once, and everyone was standing close. I guess a guy was rubbed up behind me more than he should have been and I didn’t really notice.
I got off at my stop and some cop that I guess was off duty came up and asked me if I had known the guy standing behind me. (He told me he was a cop)
Then snapped at me to be more careful. Part of me is grateful he said something, but part of me is frustrated how he approached confronting me. Good guy looking out for you!
The most important takeaway here being that one person really can make all the difference.
The best and the worst all in one go. This is fantastic and terrible to hear all at once and I’m glad you made it out safely.
Just a perfect example that it’s never a blanket. It’s all down to individuals. Thanks to the person to helped you out!