Aw, the hand job. The blow job's slightly less experienced and more awkward younger sibling. Hand jobs often get a bad rap. They can be dry like the gahdamn desert, the people giving them may not know proper handie technique, and they can drag on for way too long. Hand cramps are real, y'all.
But hand jobs, when properly lubed and executed, can be fun AF. Your partner will definitely give you a high five with their d*ck if you can yank their chain with the utmost enthusiasm and skill.
So warm them hands up and get to practicing because I'm calling it right now — the hand job is making a full comeback in 2017. And please — NO INDIAN RUG BURNS. #ouch