In gr.10 my dad made a deal with me. If I got an average of 88% he’d buy me a new laptop. Well the marks came in and I only got something like an 84-85% average. Well fuck that, I want my laptop. So I went online to the regional school board’s website and downloaded a pdf template of the report card (I dont know why they would have this available). Used a pdf editor to fill in the blanks and voila, got a brand new laptop! No regrets. P.S. After I did this, I started selling customized fake report cards for $50 each. 6.
I was molested and raped by a teenager multiple times when I was 6 years old. The last day it happened my mom walked in on the act. She was furious, she yelled, she grabbed a gun. She dragged the guy out while he pleaded for his life. She put him in her car and drove away. I never saw him again (he was my grandma’s neighbor), there was no police report, there was no trial. I asked her where he was and she told me that she took him far away and he wouldn’t come back. I didn’t think anything of it then, I hardly knew what had been happening and I eventually blocked it from my mind. I have flashes of it from time to time, sometimes I wonder what she really did. 7.
I was giving my cat a belly rub and it jizzed all over my hand. 8.
When my brother committed suicide I was walking into his house to go hang out, and I never knock because we’re best friends so his house is my house and my house is his house. Anyway, I walked in got some food from the kitchen and figured he might have a girl over because usually he’ll hear me and say what’s up from across the house so I didn’t bother him. I’ve been in his house eating for about 10 minutes when I hear the gunshot that killed him. When anyone asks I tell them I found him like that. I don’t think I’ll be able to ever tell anyone I know that if I would’ve just knocked or walked down the hall I might have saved his life. 9.
Well, I certainly hope that my grandma takes the fact that she just caught me masturbating to the grave with her… I’ve never felt so embarrassed. Back to Top