dating

What It’s Like Being With Someone With An Opposite Sex Drive

14.

I began my relationship with my husband with a good sex drive. But after a couple of years it waned. At best, I was in the mood once a week. I talked to my psychiatrist (I’m on meds for depression). She put me on buproprion. It is an anti-depressant but also helps raise libido. There are several medications out there that help a woman get her drive back. We can’t help what our hormones do to us. I would get mad because I love sex. But my body just wouldn’t cooperate. Now we’re both happy. I could do it every day. Sometimes meds are the only way.

15.

I masturbate a lot. I’ve always had a higher sex drive than my husband. It helped that I learned how setting and timing are more important to him for sexy feelings than it is for myself. I think he carries around stress more and it gets in the way of feeling in the mood. What I like to do that helps him get in a relaxed mindset is light some candles, play an album of Explosions in the Sky and give him a full body massage.

16.

Typically, barring a week or so during the month, I simply don’t get horny. While he is up for it more often than not (every other day or so). So we’ve worked on what turns me on-vibrators, reading sexy fiction (not quite erotica, but implications of activities), and lowering my stress and anxiety. Vibrators when I’m up for it, but my body isn’t yet, reading when I know he’ll be in the mood for it to start getting myself ready, and lowering stress and anxiety helps extend the length of time I’ll stay in the mood. It doesn’t quite even the playing field, but it gets it a hell of a lot closer.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.