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21 Married Couples Confess What Their Wedding Night Was Really Like

9.

We got married in the morning and, after a short reception we drove to a hotel about half way to where we were stopping on honeymoon. We were both sexually inexperienced so it was great fun finding out together. The next morning we felt incredibly close to each other but we were young, fit and not hung over so we wanted to move on to our honeymoon bungalow but, when we got to reception there was nobody around and it was all locked up. There was just a bell that rang when you stood on the mat. Eventually someone came to check us out and, despite thinking we had got away with it, my brother had stuffed my wallet with confetti. We had a wonderful honeymoon and a happy life together for nearly 50 years.

10.

It was fantastic. We both drank way too much. Went back to the room, gave my wife D, threw up in the shower, ate some wedding cake then went to sleep. I’ll never forget it.

11.

I had the flu, so I left the reception early and went to bed shivering violently and puking and shitting, while my very introverted husband was a gracious host to 40 people. We didn’t have sex for a week. Ten years later, marrying that dude is the best decision I’ve ever made.

12.

We were still drunk from reception, we stripped each other, showered together, and had sex on the bed, floor, the table and anything in our hotel room we could fuck on. I woke up the next morning in handcuffs. She was the cop and I was the bandit.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.