dating

23 Couples Tried Porno Sex Moves and It Didn’t End Well

17.

I’m 4′ 11 and my husband is 6′ 2. We tried to f*ck standing up leaning on nothing in particular when he hoisted me into the air and then lost his grip. The man dropped me to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

18.

Ex girlfriend thought it would be hot to hit me during sex. I was standing by the side of the bed and had her face-up laying down on the bed, then she proceeds to give me the most fierce backhand I’ve ever received right to the cheek. Instant boner killer, and my face was redder than the devil’s d*ck for about an hour.

19.

Choked her for a tad bit too long and she passed out, scariest 5 seconds of my fucking life.

20.

Not me but my roommate. He and his girlfriend tried something while standing up. Heard a primal scream. She runs out naked screaming for us to help. Ran in and his d*ck was broken. I cannot explain what I saw. A penis pointing entirely in the wrong direction looking blue and red. He was in agony but could not touch it. We called ambulance. It was pretty serious we heard later. He had to stay in the hospital a couple days. To this day we don’t know what they were trying.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.