entertainment

25 Waiters Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing They’ve Overheard At Tables

11.

I work in a pretty big tourist beach town, an older couple comes in one night, super nice. They were there for a while, pretty much until close. I come by to ask if they need anything. “Actually, my wife and I were talking, and since its our last night here, we wanted to know if you would be interested in joining us back at our hotel room?” I smiled, told them thanks but no thanks, but have a nice rest of your trip. They left me a hefty tip and went on their way.

12.

A little girl’s (couldn’t be older than 10) dad’s drunk girlfriend calling her fat piece of shit, not pretty enough, etc. When they ordered she asked for a baked potato and the girlfriend said “Really? Do you really need that potato, Hailey?” The little girl was holding back tears all night. I messed up her order and brought her the potato. Then I brought her a free dessert to make up for the mistake. Just to piss off the drunk girlfriend.

13.

I used to be a manager at a Pizza Hut. Big extended redneck family comes in, with parents and kids. Standard visit, and they stood up to leave when 2 of the guys started yelling at each other. Their wives/gfs got in on it and turned it up a notch by getting in a vicious slapfight. Best part? Both of the women were holding babies at the time.

14.

Not a waiter, but a barista. I once over heard two teenage girls waiting on their drinks talking about whether or not they think that charges would be pressed against them for beating up a developmentally disabled girl. Apparently they think they won’t because “she deserved it.”

15.

“Alright babe lets get out of here, this dick ain’t gonna suck itself” says attractive early 30s woman to SO.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.