“Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night” are the right lyrics in Blinded By the Light, but how many times have you heard it and thought, “Wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night”? Or maybe you’ve mistaken Beast of Burden as “Big Suburban” and have been corrected by your […] More
It’s common knowledge that toddlers are satan in baby form whenever they throw a huge fit, stomp their feet, and scream relentlessly. But what if those terrible twos carry on into — *gasp* — adulthood. I mean, we’ve all seen our fair share of adults acting like complete and utter twats while demanding to speak to […] More
When you’re unemployed, hunting for a job is a grueling process. To put it bluntly, it’s the f*cking worst. You need money to, idk, survive?! Try being without that sh*t for a while. So how do you get a job? Well, hopefully, you’re qualified for the position. If you are, then what do you do? […] More
Any job where you have to deal with people can REALLY SUCK. Straight up, a lot of people are seriously stupid. Yeah, we’re all guilty of saying dumb things every now and then, but some people are genuine idiots. One profession that has to deal with a lot of dummies? People in the service industry. Waiters, […] More
Y’all — like, I literally just can’t even right now. I need to go let my hubby know that I’m preggers ASAP because if he can’t handle me at my worst, he doesn’t deserve me at my best — or something like that. The english language is an ever-evolving, funny and fickle thing. And leave it to […] More
Applying for jobs is one of the most annoying facets of life. And in a day and age where millennials are overqualified, underpaid, and fighting for entry level positions, it seems like employers are intentionally f*cking with us by asking some of the most ridiculous, crazy, and unprofessional questions in the book. What douchebag bro […] More
You’d think in the year 2017, we’d all have evolved enough to realize a few important and common sensical things about life and the world. But alas — there are still people who don’t let people deboard subways before trying to get on. WHY THO?? It seems as though the more we find out about the world — […] More
Whether you’re getting ready to try out for Extreme Couponing: College Kid Edition, or you merely like to stretch that dollar out like a piece of thin crust pizza dough, being cheap is a way of life. Sure, it’s understandable when your grandpa doesn’t want to shell out for a new jacket or when your […] More
Meeting the parents is some tough sh*t, y’all. Just ask 2000s era Ben Stiller! And while none of us have to worry about a menacing Robert De Niro staring us down from across the dinner table, regular dads across the world have been cleaning their guns and meeting their daughters’ boyfriends for hundreds of years. […] More
They say the eyes are the window into the soul. But I say that the hair is a window into how a person will treat their server at a restaurant. If Kate Gosselin’s “mom” haircut has taught me anything, it’s that the short blonde asymmetrical blowout is the universal sign for “I’m going to need […] More
Bro — there are some rules in life that you follow, no questions asked, never talk sh*t about your homie in front of their girlfriend or prospective lady friend, always reciprocate a lending hand when helping a friend move, and do not, under any circumstances, f*ck your best bro’s wife. I’m looking at you, Andrew! Guy […] More
Being a girl is tough business. Society places ridiculous burdens on us that warp every aspect of our lives; gender roles, the pay gap, rape culture, and don’t even get me started on f*ckboys. That’s why we must stick together — that’s why we have girl code. There are just some unspoken rules to follow with your […] More
