Collections of our favorite texts from TextsFromLastNight.com
We all get wasted and do stupid sh*t. You’ve more than likely had a run in with the cops when you were drunk as hell. Hopefully that run in ended with you dragging your ass home. But some people, when drunk, say ridiculously stupid sh*t to the police. Like, sh*t that is so f*cking stupid, that they […] More
We’ve all been there. You drink a little too much and make an ass of yourself. But usually your friends help you out, and you make it home safe and sound. But sometimes you don’t get so lucky. You act like a damn fool and the cops either happen to be there, or get a […] More
There is a reason dogs are referred to as man’s best friend. They love you unconditionally, love cuddles, and worship the ground you walk on. We love cats (and other pets) because they adore us in their own special way, and give us some love every once in a while. But even if they don’t show it […] More
We all need that big O every once in a while (if not daily). Sometimes you just don’t have someone to help you out, your usual tools are out of commission, and you just need to get creative. So what do you do? You search high and low for the proper tools. Need a dildo/vibrator? […] More
SPRING BREAK FOREVER! Some people prepare their whole year for spring break. Students wanting to party hard, teachers and parents stoked to get the F out of town. Spring break is the best. But some people, particularly college students, take spring break hella seriously. They prepare for months because they anticipate a vacation full of […] More
We were all underage once. Remember those days? Sneaking your parents booze and filling the bottles with water, paying older kids or adults to buy you beer. Ah, to be young again. And then you hit the point where you can MAYBE pass for over 21. TIME FOR DAT FAKE ID. You are either one of […] More
When it comes to banging, people usually gravitate towards people they find attractive. We all have different tastes, and some traits people find attractive, may be a turn off for others. There’s nothing wrong with that. But just because you’re not attracted to someone, doesn’t make them ugly. Some people assume that if they aren’t attracted to someone, […] More
Whatever way you do it, whether it is breakup sex or sex with an ex long after the breakup, banging a previous boo is a risky business. You’ve got emotional ties to the person, and it’s hard to really say goodbye if you keep getting intimate. Maybe one last bang is something you can come […] More
“The vah-yine-yah is natures pocket. It’s natural, and it’s responsible.” Vaginas are sacred, but no part is as precious as the magical clitoris. The clitoris should be treated like delicate glass vase: breakable and breathtaking. Some people don’t treat the clitoris as the sacred gem that it is. They put a lil too much pressure, or […] More
There is a reason pets are our BFFs. They are cute, cuddly, and just all around better than human beings. If you have a pet, you have a friend for life that will love you unconditionally. Actually, not a friend, but a furry little child that you would have given birth to if you had […] More
Ahhh, orgasms. They are the greatest thing in the world. Best way to achieve one? Through masturbation, of course! You know your body better than anyone, so it’s no surprise that the best orgasms come from playing with yourself. Ladies have tested a lot of different methods from the dawn of time, and most have […] More
If you love to party, then Saint Patrick’s Day must be one of your favorite holidays. And why wouldn’t it be? You get to wear green, drink to excess, and listen to dope AF music. Saint Patty’s Day is the one day of the year we honor our Irish brethren. But in all reality most […] More
