Collections of our favorite texts from TextsFromLastNight.com
We all know the basic drinking games of yore — Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Circle of Death, and my personal favorite – 1, 2, 3, DRINK! But sometimes those games just aren’t going to cut it for the more experienced patrons — or creative alcoholics as I like to call them. ? People have gotten imaginative AF when […] More
“I did it all for the cookie!” Is what some people say after they give up a lil’ nookie. Isn’t it interesting how prostitution is frowned upon, yet your everyday folk whore themselves out for things all the time? I mean, seriously, can you tell me you never got with someone because they bought you something […] More
Dear Pizza Gods (Italians), THANK YOU SO MUCH. Seriously.. cheese, tomato sauce, bread.. you guys are f*cking geniuses. I wish I thought of it. Seriously dough (lol, get it?), pizza is so wonderful and it can turn any bad day into a day of warm cheese-filled bliss. Just that word pizza is enough to make a […] More
Pledge. Drink. F*ck. Drink. Party. Chug. F*ck. Drink. Make a fool of yourself. Repeat. There are plenty of preconceived ideas of what fraternities are really like. Do they house horny cavemen with raging alcohol problems? Not always, but let’s be real — a lot do. You go to a frat house as a naive college freshman. […] More
WHERE DOES ALL OUR MONEY GO?!? Are you also just living paycheck to paycheck, tryin’ to hustle your way into a little extra dough? Sometimes mama just needs a little cash to help get her by. You have to put food in dat belly and f*ck up that liver with booze. Also, paying bills and sh*t […] More
You don’t necessarily need a c*ck to be c*ck blocked. It’s more of a — WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SCORING?! — kind of dilemma. Vagina blocked just doesn’t have the same ring to it, nah mean? Some c*ck blocks are devilishly premeditated, some are out of pure drunken stupor, […] More
Some people just age better than others. There are the older people that kind of stop trying and let themselves go, and then there are the adults that work hella hard to stay fit AF and keep up their sexy appearance. This is how you get MILFs. Not only are these mothers super fine, but […] More
Ah, the elusive female ejaculate. For some, it may only exist in the realm of magic and mythical creatures along with unicorns and people who don’t masturbate. But for these ladies, they’ve honed in on their sexual super powers and have been chasing their wonderful vagina waterfalls ever since! It might be a little shocking […] More
Walks of shame are an inevitable part of any sexually active person’s life. We all know how it goes — you go out with your girlfriends wearing the shortest, tightest, and shiniest dress that you own. You get drunk and meet a semi-attractive dude at the bar and the two of you spend a night of […] More
“Ass or titties?” is possibly one of the most annoying questions on the planet. Why you gotta pick between them? ‘Cause, let’s be honest, they are both just so wonderful. But apparently some people tend to have a preference for one or the other, and I guess I can’t judge them for that. Really, anything […] More
There’s nothing quite like humping your brains out. But want to add a little extra adrenalin to your boning? Well, how about taking your boo bear out and about and porkin’ that mofo in the streets? We’ve all heard of the holy grail of public fornication: the mile high club. It is a sex act all […] More
Nipple piercings? Check. Belly button ring? Check. Prince Albert? Ouch, but check. Clit piercings? Hey, it’s your vagina’s funeral. Sometimes, people take it a step further than a simple pierced ear and want to up their permanent body jewelry in some awesome and freaky ways. Maybe they surprised a sexual partner with their genital bling, or […] More
