The Porn Industry Has Led Millennial Guys to Believe These 27 Things

by Alex Cogen

5.

You can ram a massive d*ck in a virgin and they’ll immediately start vigorously f*cking without any problems.

6.

Gang bangs are a lot harder to organize than I would have thought.

7.

That good sex requires 12 different positions.

8.

That no matter how creepy you are, whose panties you’re jacking off into, whose window you’re peeking through, if it’s your Mom, your step-mom, your sister, neighbor, LITERALLY ANY WOMAN will forgive any amount of creepiness if you have a giant c*ck.

9.

In gay porn, if your 100% straight friend goes a day or so without sex (broke up/gf is out of town/is a ‘frigid b*tch’) you can just start blowing them. There will be feeble protests at first but you just need to say “sssh, it’s better than a girl isn’t it?” and they will inevitably agree. Full intense pounding sex will follow.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.