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This Viral Video Of A Turtle’s Dong Has People Reaching For Eye Bleach

Just when we thought we’d escaped 2018 without being subjected to yet another grotesquery, Twitter user Jayden Paynne dropped the following video on his account. The caption reads, “idk what i thought a turtle’s penis looked like… but it definitely wasn’t this 😂🐢” and honestly needs no further explanation besides: DUDE, CAUTION.

I’m serious. Proceed at your own risk. The viscera of what you are about to watch cannot be explained by words; if a picture is worth a thousand of them, this video is worth millions. It cannot be forgotten. You’ve been warned.

The video garnered over 55,000 likes and nearly 35,000 comments upon its Twitter debut three days before the start of the new year. Reactions were, unsurprisingly, shocked, outraged, and nauseated.

And while some were grossed out, others felt as though it was cruel to force dude-turtle to pull out like that for the mere purpose of human entertainment.

So, there you have it. Also, this is technically a tortoise and not a turtle, but who cares? Now you saw it, and you’ll never be able to unsee it. Happy 2019!