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Dads Are Ridiculous And These 29 Tweets Prove It

5.

My wife’s plans for the future:

1) 401(k)

2) college funds for the kids

3) savings for a rainy day

My plans:

1) Buy a teacup pig.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2016

#priorities #dadgoals

6.

My 5-year-old poured chocolate milk in her cereal.

I was going to yell at her, but I was too busy having my life changed forever.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 12, 2016

The next Doogie Howser is among us.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.