The booty is an almighty thing. The booty has currency! The booty has been worshipped since the dawn of man, in paintings and statues and poems and, of course, songs. Throughout history, haters have tried to get the booty down, censoring it and shaming it and restraining it—Not unlike Instagram’s vendetta against the offensive female nipple.
We are currently living in a time of great appreciation for The Butt. But that may not always be the case! As a matter of fact, with the way things are going, women may go back to wearing mandated ankle-length skirts and hiding their assets sooner than you think!
Here are 13 very important songs that’ll help you remember this vital life rule: Booty Is King.
13. “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot (1992)
It’s difficult to imagine a time before The Booty was King. Today, every white girl on Instagram has a tutorial demonstrating how lifting weights got her that Kim K butt. But in the ’80s and early ’90s, “beautiful” was “heroin chic” was Kate Moss was skinny white girls with no curves and big hair. The song’s intro — a white woman making fun of a black woman’s butt to her friend Becky — was based off an actual conversation Sir Mix-A-Lot overheard.
“Baby Got Back” emerged as a sort of antithesis to this pop-culture-fueled standard and quickly evolved into a body positivity anthem for curvy girls and WOC in particular.
Lyrical Highlight: “I’m tired of magazines/ Sayin’ flat butts are the thing/ Take the average black man and ask him that/ She gotta pack much back”
12. “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen (1978)
Before Sir Mix-A-Lot sang praises of the big butt, there was Freddy Mercury, idolizing girls with fat bottoms. The cover of the single, which featured a nude woman riding a bicycle, was considered so scandalous that stores refused to stock it.
On the surface, it is a lecherous song about a woman’s ass. A level below that, it is a celebration of one of the most beautiful features a human could have. Deeper still is the idea that considering its creator, it is actually not at all a lechy account of an ass as seen through the male gaze.
According to Brian May, “some of the inspiration for the song came from stuff that I saw in Freddie’s life as well as my own. So it’s actually not so much of a heterosexual song as you might think (laughs). It’s a sort of pansexual song. There are so many ways you can take it.”
All of those ways lead back to the fact that fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.
Lyrical Highlight: “But I knew life before I left my nursery/ Left alone with big fat Fanny/ She was such a naughty nanny/ Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me”
11. “My Humps” by The Black Eyed Peas (2009)
Everyone talks smack about “My Humps,” having apparently forgotten they used to pop boners to it during awkward middle school dances. But in reality, it’s a feminist anthem about a woman with a really nice body using it to her advantage. Do the lyrics suck? Absolutely. But the beat is fire and who can really hate referring to boobs as “lovely little lumps?”
Lyrical Highlight: None, really.
10. “Milkshake” by Kelis (2003)
A spicy blend of R&B and techno, “Milkshake” tells the tale of a woman’s pride in her own sexuality. Despite lyrics like “La la-la la la/ Warm it up,” Kelis manages to hype her feminine assets in a self-assured, bossy way.
Kelis can teach you how to quench a man’s thirst, but it isn’t something one can buy or steal. Sort of like big dick energy.
Lyrical Highlight: “And they’re like/ Its better than yours/ Damn right its better than yours”
9. “Bootylicous” by Destiny’s Child (2001)
Thanks to this early aughts banger, the term “bootylicious” was inducted into the Oxford English dictionary in 2004 with the definition “(Of a woman) sexually attractive,” which basically means Beyonce invented butts!!!
Also, Stevie Nicks is sampled in this female empowerment masterpiece and is also featured in the music video. Talk about power bitches!
Lyrical Highlight: “I don’t think you ready for this jelly”
8. “Ms. New Booty” by Bubba Sparxxx (2005)
Historical? Maybe not. Lyrical? Not even remotely. But Bubba Sparxxx’s 2005 comeback hit certainly familiarized us with the idea that behind every good woman (with a nice booty!) there stands a less-than-stellar dude.
Also, the term “Ms. New Booty,” though widely contested on UrbanDictionary, has regained relevance in the last couple of years as the Kardashian family made huge butts desirable.
Lyrical Highlight: “Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight”