Collections of our favorite texts from TextsFromLastNight.com
When you gotta go, you gotta go. But when in a pinch, where is the best place to pee? Obviously, toilets exist for a reason, and mother nature has taken on her fair share of urine. Public places are barred for a reason, but if you’re desperate, an alley works. But some people have another […] More
Sex for the first time usually goes as follows: you’re sneaking around your parents, in a bed, it ends almost instantly, and it’s awkward as hell. Usually when people tell the story of their first time, it’s hilarious in that it is incredibly cringe-worthy. You laugh at their misfortune, and then compare awkward first time […] More
Balls are so sacred. Those sensitive little sacks hold all the goods. So if you’re neglecting those guys when you are doing it, then you’re just not doing it right. Like, seriously, if you’re one of those people that focus all your attention on the part of the male extremity that actually penetrates, then you’re […] More
Pubes are so natural and wonderful and beautiful. But really, the only place for pubes is on your private parts. Finding hairs anywhere sucks, but specifically finding pubes in places you don’t want to find pubes is gross, especially if they aren’t yours. We’ve all been there. You go down on a person and find […] More
There’s nothing quite as hilarious as playing an epic prank on one of your friends. Sure, you love ’em, but it’s fun to watch them squirm a little. So when is the best time to play a prank on a friend? When they’re drunk, of course! If you have a wasted friend that doesn’t know […] More
Sex on the beach has been overly romanticized. There are songs about doing it, drinks named after it, and movie scenes that make it seem hot as hell. But in reality, sex on the beach is messy AF. If you’re looking to get down and dirty then please, go for it. But if you want […] More
When you gotta go.. you gotta go. But since we are potty-trained civilized human beings, going to the bathroom usually involves a toilet. Well, at least it should. Sure, you’re going to pee out in nature if you’re camping, hiking, or in the ocean with no bathroom in sight. But if you decide to pee […] More
If you live outside of Los Angeles, celebrity encounters are hard to come by. So if you come across a celebrity in any other part of the world, it can be pretty exciting. But just spotting a celeb isn’t all that wonderful. So instead of having your run-of-the-mill celebrity encounter, how about taking it up […] More
Do you find that your sex life is just ordinary? Are you tired of banging the same type of person, and having boring vanilla sex? Do you want to bang someone with a little more experience, and maybe learn a thing or two? Did you answer yes to the previous questions? Well then, it’s time […] More
Sexting is such a wonderful thing. You can send nudes at the drop of a hat, and keep getting sexy with your partner, even if you’re thousands of miles apart. It’s really such a blessing. No more letters you have to wait ages for! No more fax machine nudes (well, for most of us)! Honestly, sexting […] More
Sex is just so wonderful. Don’t you just want to bang all the time? Of course you do! Because it is the greatest thing in the world. But some people are so damn stupid when it comes to sex. They have unprotected sex with multiple partners and don’t think twice about it. And then they […] More
People are so f*cking obsessed with video games. And it’s not hard to see why. Video games are a great means of escape, especially if you have a sh*tty job and just want to be transported somewhere else for a little while. You get to be that bad ass assassin or racer or cop that […] More
