Collections of our favorite texts from TextsFromLastNight.com
There are a hell of a lot of dummies out there. Sure, we all say stupid sh*t sometimes, but some people are just SO F*CKING STUPID 24/7. And yeah, sure, some idiots are great in bed, so you really really want to bang them. But there is a big difference between screwing someone that thinks […] More
Hopefully, by now, all you people know the importance of condoms and safe sex and all that jazz. Perhaps all that was instilled upon you back in the day when you got the good ole’ sex talk, or maybe you had to learn that lesson the hard way (LOL hard way.. get it? Like a […] More
Nothing adds some kink to your sex life quite like role playing. If you’re in a monogamous relationship, it’s even better, ’cause it’s like your banging a whole different person, and you can’t get in trouble! There are your typical role-playing scenarios, like doctors, cops, and librarians. But some people get creative when it comes […] More
There’s nothing quite like a beautiful bedonk to get you in the mood. Seriously, a juicy booty is just the creme de la creme. It’s nice to have something to grab on to while you’re banging. Some of us look for a gorgeous tush when searching for a mate, and we just want a fine hiney to […] More
Friendship is sacred. When you find a wonderful friend, you keep that person close FOREVER. But if you’ve found a great friend that you’re attracted to, why not add some boning to the mix? Friends-with-benefits can be a tough situation. Sure, it starts off wonderful, but sometimes someone develops feelings, and that sh*t ruins everything. […] More
Aw, the hand job. The blow job’s slightly less experienced and more awkward younger sibling. Hand jobs often get a bad rap. They can be dry like the gahdamn desert, the people giving them may not know proper handie technique, and they can drag on for way too long. Hand cramps are real, y’all. But hand jobs, […] More
Hangover’s are the absolute f*cking worst. Your head’s pounding, any sudden movements and you might blow chunks all over that naked dude lying next to you, and the light — NOT THE LIGHT. When a hangover stumbles into the fetal position territory and you don’t give AF when ordering $55 worth of food on Seamless, […] More
You know when you’re really getting it on and a sound comes from down under? And you think to yourself, “was that a queef or a fart?” Of course you know what that’s like! ‘Cause any sexually active person has been there and heard that. But for some reason, even though it is totally normal, […] More
Does horniness ever creep up on you seemingly out of nowhere? You’re eating dinner with your family or at the grocery store and BAM! It hits you. You need to get laid or touch yourself real quick. So, what do you do? Do you quickly go home and play with your coot coot, or do […] More
TWINS BASIL.. TWINS. Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, knew the importance of twins, and even included a threesome with Japanese Twins on his bucket list. Although most people wouldn’t be that specific, a whole lot of peeps put banging twins on their sex bucket list. And it’s a hard fantasy to bring to life. […] More
Ever woke up the next morning after a night of partying and thought to yourself “WTF.. where am I?” Or maybe it takes a minute for you to get yourself together and then you realize.. “wait, what have I done to myself?” Although it’s gross, the norm is to wake up in some sexual conquest’s […] More
When it comes to making out, some people just aren’t picky. They treat it like it’s NBD, ’cause it’s not as intimate as sex. A lil’ tongue never hurt nobody. Ain’t no thang but a little tang. We’ve all made out with multiple people in one night before (DON’T LIE TO ME). Kissing is fun, […] More
