Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I guess so. But have you ever gone almost a week without sh*tting and then basically stroked out when trying to pass the largest poo of your life on the toilet? It’s enough to make even the biggest atheists pray to god. Or at least the porcelain […] More
If you spend enough time with anyone, they’re bound to get on your nerves eventually. Hell — I can tell if someone is going to make me want to pull my hair out within the first 10 minutes of meeting them. But throw in the fact that you’re smushing someone on the reg or the fact […] More
Getting engaged should be a time of love, happiness, and tearing your partner’s clothes off so you can suck on their genitals until they come into a beautiful oblivion. It’s supposed to elicit feelings of excitement, warmth, and endless heart eye emojis. That sh*t should feel like the best gahd-damn thing that has ever happen […] More
In our current world of environmental, social, and political doom, it’s not particularly difficult to find yourself hyperventilating while huffing into a brown paper bag. I mean, the insufferable orange ball of bigotry our president makes it easy AF to slip into anxious despair more than any other man in my life — and I’ve been […] More
Sure, some people like to go through life with their heads in the clouds, their rose colored glasses perched atop the edge of their noses while laughing and skipping through a sea of ignorance. But for those of us intent on keeping it f*cking real — we like to stay up to date on all of […] More
Cops — love em or hate em — have a pretty tough job. They have to deal with drunk psychopaths, domestic abusers, and white supremacists on the daily now because… America. It’s literally the last job I would ever want to do partly because I’m really bad at holding people accountable, I’m scared of guns, and because […] More
Going out to eat is a luxury that we sometimes take for granted. I mean, instead of paying $13 for bougie avocado toast with cojita cheese and red pepper flakes, we could be crying into our fifth bowl of instant ramen and wondering about all of the delicious dishes we’re missing out on. But not […] More
Love can make any rational person overlook certain personality traits that might otherwise irritate, befuddle, or make you roll your eyes. Like when bae looks at you in all seriousness and asks what an eclipse is called when the sun passes between the moon and earth. An apocalypse, Becky — a motherf*cking apocalypse. It’s crazy […] More
You’re at a small get together with your new boyfriend and his friends. They’re laughing, shootin’ the sh*t, and you’re finding it hard to get a word in edgewise. What could you possibly say to get all of their attentions without literally taking your nipple out or slapping one of them in the face? Why, […] More
Sexual attraction is a crazy thing. One day, it might be calloused man hands, plaid, and submissive little b*tches that make my panties like Niagara Falls, the next — thunderstorms, melted cheese, and the sound of belts being unbuckled. For women, it’s definitely not a one size fits all mentality when it comes to getting turned […] More
Isn’t it great that we now live in a world where people have stopped giving any sh*ts when it comes to public hygienic decency? Okay, not all people would just pull down their pants and sh*t in the middle of the street, but f*ck — I’ve witnessed that happen two times in my life. I […] More
Look — we’ve all done some pretty unsanitary things in our lives. I mean, one time while I was at a bar, I got a delicious, gooey tomato-soup-grilled-cheese at a food truck, sat down ready to dig in, and then dropped that sh*t on the floor. That same floor had been boot scooted and boogied […] More
