Collections of our favorite texts from TextsFromLastNight.com
A dude wearing a bright neon tank top yells through a shotgunned beer he just annihilated and smashes it on his face. Drunk girls in the itty-bittiest bikinis flail around to a dubstep remix of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” while grinding on a bro wearing a visor. A couple of sunburned kids from Arizona State touch […] More
Threesomes. They’re awkward, messy, require two or more people (hello, lots of communication), and sometimes—just sometimes—they’re sexy. But most of the time, they’re just way too… real. So, we’ve pulled together 26 texts that accurately summarize your everyday threesome (well… sorta). Enjoy: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. More
We’ve all been there. You’re hard-core gettin’ your bang on and that ish gets wet n’ wild. Then, suddenly, that D slips into that B and you’re just like “WRONG HOLE”. Sure, on the reg, that blessed B isn’t “wrong” (if the booty is wrong, I don’t wanna be right). But when your goal is […] More
College graduation is the last step of adolescence, right before heading out into the real world. You fill out the graduation application, figure out what to wear underneath your cap and gown, and reassure your parents that you’ll make it to the celebratory dinner. But if you do it right, graduation night will be a […] More
As a kid, visits to the dentist were the stuff that nightmares were made of. The process of going to the dentist office was always a blow to ego: get your teeth cleaned by the hygienist (the whirrs and awful noises never helped the situation), then the dentist would come in and inspect your teeth […] More
Ah, another year around the sun. Birthday celebrations are all about you, a whole 24 hours dedicated to when you graced the world with your presence. Friends, family, and complete strangers must now submit to showering you with all the compliments, presents, booze, and most importantly, all the partying that you can handle. When it’s […] More
Countdown until finals are over. Countdown until that spring internship is done. Countdown until all the paper work is filed at your boring desk job. Countdown until you can get away from your parents, siblings, and annoying coworkers. Countdown until the best time of year: summer f*cking break. Summer: the magical time of year over […] More
So, single life is really awesome, let’s get that out of the way. A night out usually consists of getting drunk AF, partying with all your friends, and never having to worry about another person the whole time. But, when you do find someone and luck out, that’s a whole different ball game. When you […] More
Marriage is the end all, be all of adult life, right? You get married, have kids, grow old together, and it’s happily every after. But has anyone ever given the behind the scenes of married life? Your partner can drive you up the f*cking wall and it’s hard to stay in the “honeymoon phase” past […] More
Pack up your dildo necklaces, make sure the hubby’s fine for the weekend, double check that the stripper is booked, it’s Bachelorette Party time! This grand event usually comes after the classier bridal shower (read: completely boring, full of all the aunts and grandma falling asleep, while you eat cheese and drink white wine), so […] More
Picture this: late nights, drinking, all your friends, in a parking lot. Usually, all the best stories come out of some sort of situation like this. Regardless of your teenage days or currently, there’s always a story to recount (or barely recount) involving some ridiculous shenanigans in a […] More
Going down on a person is like flipping a coin. Head, it tastes delicious or at least bearable. Tails, that sh*t is NASTY AF. It’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what kind of sploodge you’re gonna get. But when it comes to the good, the most you can usually hope for is […] More
